Ep. 12 / Breaking the Cycle: Re-writing the Cultural Expectation for Women to Do it All
“Postpartum care is not a luxury. And it shouldn’t be.”
As mothers today, we are met with a huge physical, mental and emotional load to carry - and often without the support of a village. Yet even when we are offered the help, its common to brush up against the cultural conditioning of independence, the inner critic that says we should be doing more, the discomfort of feeling like a burden to others, or the grief of feeling like its inadequate or never enough.
This conversation looks under the surface of the stories we carry around receiving - how these stories shape our inner dialogue, the ways we open to or unconsciously reject help that is available, and how we can begin to break the cycle of expectation that women should carry it all for our sons & daughters.
This is particularly potent for women & families during the early postpartum transition, and guest Ashanti Rivera offers fresh perspective and insight into this topic as a mother of 6, and 5 months postpartum herself at the time we recorded.
Ashanti is also a birth professional with over seven years of experience, ranging from birth & postpartum doula services, birth story processing, and more. Ashanti specializes in efforts to educate and support communities that have been marginalized by providing free/low-cost services, goods, and events for parents and children, through her nonprofit organization - Woman's Choice Charitable Association.
Some topics discussed in this episode:
Recognizing and receiving the resources we have, that our parents didn’t or weren’t able to
How receiving sometimes also requires letting go
Recognizing subtle ways we armor against receiving help
To help break these cycles and promote community care, what language can we use to invite people to receive?
Why becoming pregnant with a girl changed how Ashanti wanted to approach her pregnancy and postpartum experience
"The Village" isn’t what it used to be - so how can we create one?
The trickle down effect of rushing through this transition, and what science shows about its effects on the neurodevelopment of our children
The lost sanctity of pregnancy, and how that is impacting women’s mental health & our cultural postpartum expectations
How to receive more without resorting to nagging
How the attitudes about receiving get passed down, and recognizing how this often resurfaces in the postpartum time
What is the Orphan archetype? And how does this factor in to our attitudes about receiving?
Ashanti’s vision for the next generation "Its a different type of strong…"
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Do you know that there's more to birth preparation than reading books, taking childbirth classes or creating a birth plan - but don't know what else to do, or where to begin? Visit rebirthformothers.com to subscribe for updates and receive a free Roadmap to Increase your Emotional Resilience for Birth - including exercises, contemplations, and more.
More about Ashanti:
Visit Ashanti's website: https://www.womanschoiceperinatal.com
Her non-profit, Woman's Choice Charitable Association: https://www.womanschoiceperinatal.com/non-profit
On Instagram https://www.instagram.com/womanschoiceperinatal
On TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@womanschoice
