Ep. 09 / How to find a balance between control and surrender - in birth and in life [Part 1 of 2]
“Its amazing to what extent we go, just to not have to face that we do not have control over everything.”
This two-part series looks at our cultural, group and individual relationship with control - as humans, mothers, parents, and through the lens of birth.
I am both honored and so excited to bring one of my personal mentors, Danit Tsur Almog, on the show - who brings a depth and warmth to this topic only she can.
Danit brings 20 years experience as doula, childbirth mentor, and as a Birth Story Medicine® mentor and facilitator. She is also a devoted student of Adyshanti, practices non-duality, and has been facilitating the training program of The Israeli Association for Emotional First Aid (ERAN) for the last 15 years.
If you only ever listen to one episode of this show - THIS is the one (but lets be honest...you'll probably want more.)
In this episode, we discuss:
Western culture’s role in shaping ideas of control - from a developmental perspective, when & how do we think this happens?
The false appeal of having full control in your Birth
An exploration of how our relationship with control is also an individual one
How having an effect on an outcome is different than having control over outcome
Exploring the symbiosis of the desire for personal power and its relationship to control
Going into 2nd+ birth experiences, how can we find a balance of surrendering control AND maintaining wisdom gained from experience?
The blaming mechanism and looking for fault, reason, control when things go "wrong"
The internal pressure women put on themselves to perform to a high standard in birth
Over-preparation vs under-preparation for birth - where is the balance? Are we “chasing control”?
Control and its attachments to success & failure
When does the mind start to narrate events in our life as right or wrong, success or failure?
How we often use the idea of control against ourselves, regardless of outcome.
Want to work with Danit?
Located in Jerusalem, Israel, Danit works with birth storytellers remotely via Zoom and can be reached at danit[at]birthstorymedicine[dot]com to schedule.
“Birth is a wild horse.”
